10 Days....and Broken Resolutions.

All it took was 10 days...

10 days. 1 phone call and the offer of 1 drink.

New Years Resolution number 1 broken.

You would think at this point in my life I would know better, maybe be a little more clear minded and have stopped making the same mistakes again and again. But how does anyone say no to that good looking bad boy?  Every logical bone in my body screams it's a bad idea. I know better, I've been down this road already, but before I knew it I had agreed to a drink. 1 drink. Harmless... Right.

One drink is never really one drink. We all know that, or at least in my world we do. This night, that one drink turned into a knock at my door. And when there is history involved, inviting someone in is always a bad idea. Unless it's the best decision, for all the wrong reasons. And that is usually the way these nights play out. Natural and easy, falling into a rhythm that's all too familiar. Before I knew it there was a hand on my leg and suddenly all that logic I thought I had seemed to slip away too fast.

I had already decided forever and a day ago that this person is bad news in my life, and long ago decided to move on. But why is it that moving on is still so hard? That writing someone out of my life, for good, is far more of a challenge than I would ever like to admit? Because, in the midst of all those shitty things that person put me through, we had a connection. We had fun. We laughed. We had attraction. We had moments. We have memories. And those things are far harder for the heart to let go of, than what my head long ago already figured out.

That, and I am a firm believer of 'you always want what you can't have'. And I will always want the tattooed, handsome, charming bad boy. ALWAYS. You tend to forget the bad, and always remember the good. But reality tends to come crashing back faster than you expected. And all those reasons you decided it was time to move on become even more apparent. And for those momentary nights when you seem to forget, and all you see is that cute boy in front of you....you always have your girlfriends to talk some sense into you....and thank goodness for that.


-C